I get a lot of inspiration from music as music is the biggest part of my life. Today i was listening to Pandora thinking about somethings that have happened in my life lately and a song came on that was literally like what I am going through right at this moment. I have never been so struck by a song so strongly that I thought I needed to blog about it right then but to day I do. the song is called NightMinds but Missy Higgins and Normally I would have never just listened to one of her songs but Pandora chooses some pretty good songs that I normally wouldn't give a second glance. Anyway. i started to listen to the lyrics and thought Hey.. Me and My friend are kind of going through something like this.. trying to help each other out of a dark place in our past or present and making sure it doesn't get into our future. It hit me like a brick and so I looked up the full lyrics and started to read them and I thought.. Hmm.. I need to share this with anyone I can.. Granted not a whole lot of people read my blog.. The people that count do and if someone randomly stumbles upon this maybe it will help them too. The lyrics that stuck out to me are these..
"But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
So we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise,
Out of our nightminds, and into the light
At the end of the fight..."
Going though a hard time by yourself is most defiantly like going into a darkness. You can't find away out and it eats you up inside and then in front of people you have to act like nothing is going on because you think they will judge you or that they wouldn't understand. Until the day.. nearly FOUR YEARS later I finally found someone who might understand... What I was going through.. What I was thinking. So I told her. and to my amazement someone I knew finally understood how hard somethings in life are and how much somethings just need to be done but how hard they can be if you truly care about what you have to do. I waited longer then I should have to get rid of this demon and now I know if I meet another girl like me I will not let it get as far as me. No one deserves it and they need to get out of that situation as fast and as soon as possible. I am vowing now to never let something like this happen to me again. I know the signs and i can tell when something isn't right. I know how to get out before I get in too deep. While it still hurts to this day I know in my heart that I did the right thing.
having someone that actually knew what I was going through made me see that I can't always do everything by myself. That talking and telling people might actually have been a better way to go about it. I know that now. I'm just glad I'm safe now and So is she. I'll find my way back to not hurting as much..it might take some time but I have amazing people in my life to help me along the way and I'm willing to bet I will meet a whole lot more. For now I'm content just knowing that.
Until we meet again;
~Teal Morgan.
